It seems to be a trend with me that I'll go on a blog streak then a dry spell. I feel like it's been awhile since I wrote, though it probably hasn't really been THAT long. I've been finding myself increasingly bitter lately. Is this a delayed reaction from the BFN? possibly. Maybe I've just been on the IF rollercoaster way too long.
I've been trying to find more sources of support so that I don't completely lose it. In my search, I decided to intro on the Infertility Veterans board on thebump. It's not that I don't love being on the Infertility or 3T boards, but I am becoming more the minority now that I have 2 failed IVFs under my belt. I want to be loving, helpful and supportive for the other girls, but some days it's really hard for me to see the first timers to be all hope and rainbows, get their BFPs and leave the board while I'm still stuck behind in IF hell wondering if it'll ever happen for me. I know how horrible of a person that must make me sound. I don't want to be bitter and jealous. I hate that IF is doing this to me as it's not my normal personality. On the IFV board, the members have all been active on IF/3T for at least 6 months and have at least 2 failed cycles under their belt. Sounds like a good fit for me, right?
The Chicago girls from the IF board are all getting together for brunch on Sunday. I'm really excited about it and happy to finally put faces to names. I also have a Resolve meeting on Saturday morning. IF weekend!!!!!
I heard back from the RI's office later last week. They reviewed my chart and would like to see me March 5th. I took the appt to hold it, but some days I'm still on the fence about going. Maybe half of the workup they would do, my RE will do. He's not completely sold on the idea of RI though so some of the tests he opted out of. When the girl on the phone called, I was at the gym and almost fell off the elliptical trying to talk to her. I got instructions not to eat after 10pm the night before, and about an hour before my appt to drink 32 oz of water. I had asked if it was okay if I was on bcps and/or lupron (since I don't have my firm calender yet for the IVF cycle) and she said that was fine, they just didnt want me to be on my period. I don't think that should be a problem, especially if I'm already on bcps.
I think I'm going to keep the appt. When we do our workup with the RE in the middle of Feb, I plan to get a copy of those test results so that I don't have to repeat any tests with the RI (unless she wants to). I just don't want to miss anything, especially if the next IVF cycle fails.
The next couple weeks need to hurry up. I just want to get started and get my plan in action. On the lighter side, I am beyond excited that the Walking Dead will be back on this Sunday! I am even throwing a party to watch it. I hope pinterest has some great Zombie party ideas! Oh, and after today, I am off work for 5 whole days!!! I can't wait. Work has been very trying on me lately and I could really use a break.
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