And now back to our regularly scheduled programming

Okay, I'll admit I took the news of my brother's baby pretty rough last night.  I've had some time (and a good workout & a half of a bottle of wine) to think about it.  I've had the following thoughts. 
1.  It's not their fault that I can't have a baby without some kind of medical intervention.
2.  I am excited to be an aunt.
3.  It won't matter if they take "my" baby names, because we will still use them.
4.  I'm not looking forward to dealing with his mother in law. 
5.  At least my brother and I can switch off babysitting each other's kids, since we both work 12 hr shifts.
6.  My mom is going to be too much to handle, so I need to be careful.
7.  I am glad that they aren't having to deal with infertility as well.  I was really worried about that. 

Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that is still sad and bitter.  I am just trying to keep her on a leash.  If anything, it's a huge motivator to get my butt back in the gym.  I took a break, since I was sick and didn't feel up to doing much.  Now, I'm thinking that if lowering my BMI will increase my chances, I have to do it.  I know it's been awhile, so here is a check in on the weight situation.

Starting weight: 228.5
Starting BMI:41.8

Weight today: 215
BMI today: 39.3

Total lbs lost: 13.5
Change in BMI:-2.5

I'm still 52 lbs away from getting my BMI out of the Obese range.  I don't think that's obtainable in the time before our next IVF, but the more I can lose the better anyways.  I'd like to be under 200 by the time of the cycle.  That is obtainable I think.

I started birth control pills today.  It's still funny to think I need to take BCPs to get pregnant.  I also started all my vitamins again.  The saline sonogram is on Friday.  I'm still nervous, but I'll suck it up.  I have every intention of telling my RE on Friday that he needs to step up his game now that my brother's wife is pregnant.  Hopefully some of my labwork will be back by then too.  I want to make myself perfectly clear to him that I want to do everything we possibly can.  Balls to the Wall baby!