And the verdict is.....

   We're having a boy AND a girl!!  I had an ultrasound on Monday with Dr. KK.  While we knew that baby B is a boy, baby A was the mystery.  Until Monday.  Nadia, my favorite ultrasound person, was able to get a good view of baby A from below.  She told me that at this point, she usually sees something there if it's a boy (and showed me where to look).  She didn't see anything, so it's a girl!  I can't believe that we're having a son and daughter! 
   Other than that, the appointment went well.  We drew labs, and hopefully will get to stop the progesterone this time.  I'll also be off the prednisone and metformin this Friday.  It's strange to transition to being more "normal" although I doubt I'll ever see myself as such.  I do, unfortunately, have a new pain.  It seems like it's my pubic bone itself.  I'm guessing the pregnancy hormones are kicking in to get my pelvis ready for delivery (in 18ish more weeks), but this really hurts. 
  I also had it confirmed during my ultrasound that those wierd, jabby feelings I've been having is, in fact, the babies moving!  I kind of felt like an idiot for not thinking it sooner, but with the anterior placentas, I thought I'd feel it later than this.  All in all, not a bad week so far.

18w1d

  That's right folks, I'm 18w1d.  I don't think I need to tell you how bad I suck at updating this thing.  Lately though, I've just been so tired and blogging seems to always lose on my list of to dos.  As a quick update, I can say that since we announced, we found out that baby B is a boy!!  Baby A wasn't cooperating for the ultrasound.  My mother in law thinks the baby is a girl and she is being modest.  Hopefully we'll see on my next ultrasound on Monday.  I still see Dr. Kwak-Kim every 2 weeks, and the OB is at every 4.  I don't see the OB again until 12/5 for our anatomy scan. 
   I know I said earlier that I have been very tired.  That is an understatement.  I could sleep all the time.  But the problem is that I can't turn off my brain, or get comfortable.  My hips hurt a lot, as does my tailbone.  From everything I've seen, this is normal, but it's been quite the adjustment.  My nausea has also returned over the past few days.  Honestly, I wish I could've called into work today but calling in on a weekend means I need to make it up the next weekend.  So that won't be happening unless I'm dying.
    On the meds front, I am finally getting to wean off the prednisone.  I should be done with it by the middle of next week as well as the metformin.  I'm thrilled about that.  Hopefully next we can get rid of the progesterone.  I'm still on 200mg daily of that.  I also still take synthroid, calcium, vitamin D, Vitamin E, metanx, fish oil, and a prenatal vitamin.  My lovenox has been every other day and my bloodflow has been in the 0.38-0.39 range (they want it to be less than 0.5).  Dr. KK added an antibiotic for an unsymptomatic UTI, which quite possibly could be why I feel so sick. 
   I suppose the biggest issue I'm facing (aside from worrying about every single thing) is dealing with my mom.  It's no secret she and I have had a strained relationship since my dad died.  After the way she treated me during IVF#2, I said I was going to keep her out of my buisness.  Well, from the moment she knew we were pregnant, she has talked about a shower.  I told her that I would really prefer having one combined shower, as I am afraid I'll end up on bedrest, or worse that the babies will come early.  The talks pretty much stopped after that.  My mother in law happened to offer to throw one last weekend while were at a family party.  I graciously accepted but asked if it would be possible to combine them and that I'm sure my mom would love to help.  My mother in law was thrilled!  I told my mom the next day what had transpired, and that my mother in law wanted to host it at her house, which is an hour north of where my mom lives.  Almost immediately, my mom had issues and tried to talk me into having 2, but said she'd do what I want.  I tried to stand my ground and said I wanted one and she said ok.
   Fast forward to yesterday, my mother in law called me to talk about the shower.  Apparently my mom had called her and made it seem that she really wanted to do something for me, but made up a bunch of excuses about her house being too small etc.  Somehow the conversation progressed and my mother in law was telling me that she's afraid of stepping on peoples' toes and that her feelings were getting a little hurt.  So I caved and told her that maybe it'd be better to seperate the 2 showers.  She agreed to do whatever I wanted, and at this point, I don't want my mom making my MIL feel bad. 
  After I got off the phone with her, I informed my mom what had happened and she tried to play innocent stating my MIL must have misunderstood her.  I don't think I really believe her considering one of my aunts facebooked me in the morning to offer to throw me a shower.  I think my mom has been plotting to get her way.  But after all that nonsense, she still wants to be invited to the party at my MILs house and thinks she can ride with us.  Um no.  I'm so tired of her pulling crap to get her way and not thinking about others concerns.  It is what it is at this point.  Hopefully my body and these babies will cooperate and get us through the parties in January. 

I'm just so disappointed that my mom can't be the mom I want/need her to be.

Announced!

  I just realized that my last post talked about how we were going to announce and I never updated.  Whoops.  I'm officially the worst blogger ever.  So, I ended up making about 300 cookies and dispersed them between our jobs and DH's family.  For our jobs, I wrapped cake boxes in baby wrapping paper, put sugar cookies inside that were rolled in pink & blue sugar and put a note on the inside lid that read,
"We don't know yet if we're pink or blue, all we know is we're having TWO!"  and followed it saying (insert our last name) twins due April 2014.  I left mine in our kitchen at work and waited.  DH took his to work and I believe left it on the counter.  They got quite the reaction.  It was pretty great. 
  For DH's family, we did another box of cookies, but this time I made M&M with pink & blue M&Ms.  On the inside lid we printed "DH & M are pregnant!" and attached an u/s picture of each baby.  We were over for a family birthday party, so we saved them for dessert (after the presents had been opened as to not upstage the birthday people).  My inlaws knew we were going to do this, so I asked my MIL to have her sister open the cookies.  It took her a second to see the note, but once she did she started crying and hugging my MIL.  The rest of the family quickly caught on & it was quite the excitement.  DHs oldest male cousin asked if there were 2 u/s pictures because there's 2 babies, to which I said Yes and the excitement started all over again.  It was wonderful.  Most of my family already knew, thanks to some loose lips, so I sent a text to the remaining family that didn't know.  Not as dramatic, but we don't see them very often. 
  Through all this, DH & I turned off our FB walls to avoid people saying anything on there before we could.  So to finish our big outing, we turned our walls back on on Sunday night, posted a photo of our cats with a sign saying they were going to be big brothers to twins and the message that "DH and I are very excited to share the news that we are expecting twins in April 2014!!  As many of you know, this wasnt an easy road for us and we just wanted to take the time to thank you all for your continued love, support, prayers and encouragement.  It really means the world to us."

It feels so good to have announced.  I still haven't told my mom she could tell people.  I think I'll let it go as long as possible.  I have no doubt she continued to tell people anyways though.  **sigh**

An update

I followed up with my OB today, as I was instructed after being discharged from the ER.  A quick pelvic exam showed my cervix is nice and closed and there was no active bleeding.  He did see some old blood, but nothing much to write home about.  The nurse attempted to find the heartbeats with the portable doppler but had no success.  At one point I thought I heard one, but it might have been my own heartbeat.  Just to play it safe, they did an ultrasound. 
  Twin A is measuring 2 days ahead with a heartbeat of 157.  Twin B is measuring 1 day ahead with a heartbeat of 163.  They barely saw the SCH.  My cervix measured nice an long and closed, just like in the ER.  After a few more measurements, she was done and I got redressed.  The OB came back in and said it's definately a partial placenta previa and told me I am on pelvic rest until it revolves.  I asked if this is common in multiples and he said yes, due to the fact that there are 2 placentas in the same amount of space.  The good news is that more often than not, seeing a previa this early is kind of good because they tend to resolve more than the ones you see later in pregnancy.  He also warned me I may bleed off & on until it does resolve.  I asked if I was still okay to work and he said yes as long as I take it easy when I can.  He wants me to watch for cramping and to stop my activity if I start having bad cramping that doesn't go away.  I see them again next week for a routine appt and my NT scan. 
  I opted not to tell my mom I was in the ER.  She would have panicked and insisted on being there.  With the fear of miscarriage, that's the last thing I want.  Part of me regrets not telling her because I dont think she appreciates what we are going through.  She thinks this is just a regular pregnancy, with the exception of 2 babies.  She doesn't even attempt to understand the concept of measuring them in weeks & days vs months.  DH did tell his parents, because he went out of town with his dad on no sleep after our ER trip.  His mom text me today to see how I was feeling, check in about the appt I had and to tell me she loved me.  Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but that really got to me.  Maybe I have more mommy issues than I thought.
  We are still planning to announce the pregnancy this weekend.  I'm doing work on Friday, to mark 13w.  I'm bringing in cookies and leaving a sign with them in the breakroom.  I'll post a picture when I do it.  We're telling the rest of DH family when we see them for a family party Saturday.  Still not sure how we're gonna do that.  I have one more aunt/uncle to tell from my family, but we never see them so it'll probably be a text so they don't see it on facebook first.  Facebook maybe we'll do sunday.  I'm scared to come out, but I think it's time.  Aside from the bleeding/previa, we've had great ultrasounds and the babies look good.  Time to share them with the world.

Not how I wanted to spend my Friday night

  Yesterday was an uneventful day or the most part.  My plan was to go grocery shopping, as I'd been putting it off for a few days.  I've noticed that normal daily activities get me tired some days, so I've been spreading them out and resting a lot.  I've also been reading a book about multiple pregnancies, since a lot of the baby books don't get too much info about diet and things like that when there's more than one baby.  It's called When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, by Barbara Luke.  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-youre-expecting-twins-triplets-or-quads-barbara-luke/1103372880?ean=9780061803079  It's a lot of information, but a very good read.  Their diet recommendations inspired me to grocery shop. 
  Since I've been feeling pretty good, my plan was to make a real dinner.  I haven't been cooking much, aside from what I can toss in the crockpot.  So for dinner, I made Italian breaded chicken and gnocci with spinach.  It was delicious.  After that, DH and I just watch TV and relaxed.  Which really means I watched TV and DH fell asleep on the couch.  I was going to have a little ice cream, and DH was trying to talk me into getting some for him before he fell asleep.  As I was laying on the couch, I started to not feel so great, so I abandoned the ice cream idea to just stay put on the couch.  About 9:30, I woke DH up and suggested we go to bed, as he was sleeping anyways.  I headed upstairs to get ready for bed as he turned off lights and made sure the cats had food and water.  That's where things started to go wrong. 
  I've been on vaginal antibiotic cream at bedtime for the past week because the swab they did at my first ob appt came back positive for bacteria.  My last dose should have been last night, so I went to the bathroom to get it over with.  When I was done peeing for the 400th time that day, I wiped and noticed bright red blood on the toilet paper.  My heart stopped.  It was like a light period and sure enough when I checked the toilet, there was blood in the water as well, but no clots.  I pulled up my pants, forgoing the antibiotic, and called DH, trying to remain calm.  By the time I told him I was bleeding, I was crying.  He asked me when I meant that I was bleeding and I ran through the situation.  He reminded me that we had been told that if the SCH bled, it might look worse than it is, and that it didn't mean a miscarriage.  I reminded him that the didn't see the SCH anymore on this past week's ultrasound.  I questioned if we should page the OB and DH agreed we should. 
  When the on call OB called me back (there's only 2 in the practice), I ran through the situation.  He felt that it was probably the SCH, and that since I was already 12 weeks, that the babies should be fine.  He also confirmed that this more than likely wasn't due to weaning the progesterone because their placentas should be doing the work now.  He did offer to have me go to the ER for an ultrasound, for peace of mind.  DH agreed we would go to the closer community hospital vs the one I work at.  My hospital is a trauma center, so the wait time would be greater on a friday night.  The OB said he'd check in with the attending so he would know what's going on.  We got redressed, jumped in the car and were off to the hospital.
  It felt weird to go in a car.  Honestly the only time I've ever gone to the ER was by ambulance.  We made it in about 15 minutes, and got checked in right away.  They triaged me and asked a bunch of questions mostly regarding the bleeding and my extensive med list.  At that point, I warned them if they took my blood pressure, it would be really high because I was so worried.  Sure enough, it was 177/100.  I don't think it's been that high ever.  They put me back in the waiting room, until the lab tech called me.  As part of triage, they draw labs before you see the Dr.  It turns out that my phlebotomist is on respiratory therapy school and does his clinicals in my unit.  He was a good stick, got it on the first try and back to the waiting room I went. 
    An ER tech finally brought us back to a room, had me change into a gown and said she'd send in the Dr.  I think we saw him within 20 minutes or so.  He asked lots of questions, seemed kind of skeptial of the meds I'm on from the immunologist and a little arrogant.  He said I'd get an ultrasound, but he also wanted to do a pelvic exam to check the bleeding.  My ER nurse was fantastic though.  Nice and funny.  The Dr finally came back, and DH stepped out.  The exam was uncomfortable (and I'm still sore today), but quick.  He said he just wanted to check the bleeding to be able to report back to the OB.  Next was ultrasound, but we waited a long time for that.  I think they finally took me between 1:30 and 2 am. 
  My ultrasound tech was just as fabulous as my nurse.  As soon as she started, she showed me the babies and said both of them were moving and had heartbeats.  What a relief!!!!!!!!   I thought I would cry.  They both measured one day ahead still, with strong heartbeats of 163(A) and 157(B).  She found that my SCH is, in fact, still there right between the placentas.  She also found that part of Baby A's placenta is overlying my cervix, a partial placenta previa.  She said it's possible the bleeding could come from either the SCH or the placenta.  My cervix was nice and long at a little over 4cm, and tightly closed.  Thank God.
  I was taken back to my little ER room and a lab person came in saying we needed more labs.  I wasn't happy about getting stuck, but got that over with.  I was told all we were waiting for was the radiologist to read the report and give the info to the ER Dr.  Around 2:45 another lab person came saying now they wanted to check my electrolytes.  Both DH & I were like, no, you can't keep sticking me.  They talked to my nurse and came back saying they could use blood already in the lab.  Finally, the Dr came back and told us what the ultrasound tech already told me.  He confirmed the SCH and the placenta previa, and said that my OB wants pelvic rest and to take it easy this weekend.  He also wants to see me Monday.  His final recommendation was to give me Rhogam.  My blood type is O negative and DH is A positive.  I knew I'd get rhogam at some point because of this.  When the rH factors don't match, my body can create antibodies against DH's blood which is dangerous for future pregnancies.  They wanted to give it because we don't know if the bleeding was from the SCH, which is my blood, or the placenta, which could be DHs blood type.
  The nurse came in, gave me my shot then left to make sure they were sending me home.  She came back with my discharge instructions and we were on our way home.  We made it home by about 3:30.  I feel bad because DH had planned to go on a day trip today with his dad to WI and needed to be at their house at 7am, meaning he'd have to leave by 6.  Poor guy got maybe 2 hours of sleep.  Hopefully he slept in the car on the way up.  As for me, my plan is to take it as easy as possible.  I'm still bleeding and having some cramping, but they said that was normal.  I've emailed Dr. KKs office too to let them know what happened and that I am holding my lovenox until I talk to them monday.  That's the standing rule.  bleeding =no lovenox or baby aspirin.  I am trying my best to stay off google.  The ER Dr said it's possible that as there is continued growth, that the placenta can migrate upward.  So I'm praying for that, and expecting that the OB will send me to the MFM sooner than we thought.

11w5d

I had another appt with Dr KKs office today.  Today was a big lab draw day, including my NK cells and cytokines.  I should have some of the labs back this week, the rest will be early next week.  I had an ultrasound too.  Both babies are measuring 11w6d, A's heart rate was 163 and B's was 157.  The best news is that my SCH is officially gone!  Because of that, I have been given the greenlight to start weaning off the PIO!  I start every other day dosing today through sunday then I stop completely.  I can't believe it.  My bloodflow resistance did increase, but not too far away from where they want it, so starting sunday I'll start 2x a day lovenox.  They also said my cervix was measuring the smallest is has before, but the NP thinks it was just a weird measurement thing and said not to worry, we will check it again next week.  All in all, it was a good appt today.

I've been feeling pretty good.  Tired, but I think that's normal.  The only complaint I really have is constipation.  I'd be a happy happy woman if that could get resolved. 

Fear

After our appointment with the OB on Tuesday I told DH how it felt weird to be a regular pregnant person.  I honestly settled into the idea.  Not being a diagnosis or a protocol, and just be pregnant.  Today, however, I emailed the NP at Dr. KKs to ask about my labwork from this week.  My NK cells are still elevated and now my TSH is low.  I've also seen a couple dips in my estrogen and progesterone, but she explained that's fine because we did some weaning.  So of course I've questioned the NK cells.  I've done 2 rounds of IVIg and am on a decent dose of prednisone, yet my labs barely budge.  It makes me question the efficacy of the treatment, and why am I putting myself through it if it doesn't seem to be doing much.  Her arguement is that we don't know what my levels would be if I wasn't on it.  I also questions the thyroid labs.  She advised me to continue my current dose of synthroid and later explained that she wants me to do that because my FreeT3 is also low.  Of course, because I do not deal with a lot of thyroid issues in the area of nursing I am in, I hit up the google.  Big mistake.  Both hyper and hypothyroidism can cause miscarriage.  It's bad enough that my hair is falling out at an alarming rate (which is why I thought to ask her to check it in the first place) but now I'm gonna worry even more that I'll miscarry.  Just when I think I'm getting comfortable, like we can start considering telling everyone, something like this happens.  I'm sure I won't stop worrying until they are in my arms, and even then, I know I'll worry more.  I'm also noticing some cramping.  I can't decide if it's in my head because of the fear of miscarriage or if it's real.  I'm just gonna drink some water and pray it goes away.