Wavering

I'm sorry the blog has been quiet.  I can't really decide where my brain wants to be at.  The weekend was fun.  We did end up going to Navy Pier with our friends, had dinner rode the Ferris Wheel, all that fun touristy stuff.  Originally my plan was to do our PIO shot in the parking garage.  Well, we had to park so far away that DH didn't want to go all the way back to the car.  I offered to just go in a corner or behind a staircase.  Nope.  He wanted to find a family bathroom.  Okay fine.  One problem.  We couldn't find one.  We went to Harry Carrey's for dinner, which had bathrooms so we opted to just use one.  Well, there was a ton of traffic going in & out of the ladies room, so I kinda paniced and said no way.  We ended up in the men's room handicap stall.  Oh the things we'll do for a baby!  Later, we found out there was a family bathroom.  I thought it was a closet.  At least I got a cool story out of it.

I heard back from my NP about all that labwork.  She increased my synthroid and reassured me that a higher TSH shouldn't effect implantation.  She also felt that my progesterone level was too low for her comfort so she called in prometrium for me to take orally.  Yes, that's right, now I'm on 3 different progesterones.  PIO, crinone and oral prometrium.  I've been taking it at night to avoid the side effects and will have that level checked on friday when I get my beta drawn.

Speaking of beta, I'm nervous.  I had some cramping yesterday, but I think it was from being on my feet so much at work.  I also managed to play connect the bruises with my lovenox shots, so the entire left side of my abdomen from belly button to hip is now blue with a huge bruise and it hurts.  So maybe its that too.  I still think my boobs feel bigger than normal,  Im tired, sometimes irritable, hungry, some food/smell aversions. ... but again, it could be due to the progesterone.  I have stuck to my promise not to use home tests, but I can feel my will faltering.  Part of me just wants to know.  another part of me if afraid of the answer, so ignorance is bliss.  People at work have said I'm glowing.  Maybe that's the hormones too.  Who knows.  I wish it were Friday already....then again, maybe I don't.

Checking in

   I don't have a whole lot to report.  I went for labs yesterday.  Typically, my RE does the vaginal suppositories for progesterone, so he doesn't check levels.  However, I am special and am on PIO, which CAN be reflected in blood levels.  I asked him for them, and I think because he's tired of me overworrying and knows this will give me peace of mind, he obliged.  He also drew my thyroid labs for Dr. KK, saving me another needle stick.  My p4(progesterone) came back at 31.9, which he said was enough to get the job done, considering Im also on the crinone.  So that was great.  my TSH on the other hand, is deciding to get all nuts at 3.13.  I have an email in for the NP.  I'm assuming we will increase my synthroid dose.

   I will be the first to admit that I am a chronic googler.  In our past 2 cycles, I am guilty of googling every twinge and funny feeling.  I caught myself starting to do it last night with the p4 level.  Then I stopped, reminding myself that the RE said it was fine.  We drew the lab for peace of mind, and he said it was okay, so I need to believe that.  And just like that, I didn't feel the need to keep googling.  Very not me.  We will file that under "things that are different this cycle."  Remember when I said that I gave all my HPTs to DH to hide?  Well, somehow I missed a stash under my bathroom cabinet in our room.  But even knowing they are there, I haven't taken them.  I'm enjoying the ignorance.  I always stressed out with the HPTs.  Not this time.
  I have noticed that I think I'm noticing more symptoms with the PIO.  I'm noticing things taste funny, still bloated, twinging/small cramps in the ute area, bigger boobs(dh says Im crazy, but my bra feels fuller).  I know all of this can be from the PIO though.  Lets hope it continues though.  DH has been rockin the PIO.  We've had one that hurt a lot, but I think we've troubleshooted it.  Im so proud of him.

I've been trying to be normal during this 2ww as well.  I go back to work monday, and yesterday I was off bedrest, so I ran errands.  Originally I was going to go walk on the treadmill at the gym, but changed my mind.  I want to be as active as I can be, but do so safely, since in the past, I stayed very low profile.  I don't think that helps my bloodflow.  So today I have acupuncture, then therapy.  After that, we are meeting some friends that are in town and heading to Navy Pier.  I think the walking around down there should be okay. This also means doing PIO in the parking garage, since DH can't come in the bathroom with me.  This should be interesting.  If needed, I'll just drop trou in the food court.  I have no shame anymore.  ha ha ha

Frosties!!!!!

 

First thing's first.  These are our sweet embies we transferred yesterday.  The RE drew an outline of my uterus, then circled the embryos.  The little white arrow is pointing to them.  I can't stop looking at them.  I think I will frame this photo along with those matching fortunes we got and put them in the nursery.

So, I have been waiting for a call from the embryologist all morning.  It turns out, she called DH instead.  He text me after she called to let me know.....you might want to sit down.....are you sitting?  WE HAVE 3 FROSTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We have never had anything make it to freeze before!  That means 2 things.  1. If this cycle works, we might not need to do another fresh cycle for more kids.  and 2. if it doesn't work, I don't have to do another fresh cycle yet!!!!! Either way, it's amazing and I couldn't be more excited!  This must mean that my egg quality must have improved.  I think I can relax about donor eggs for awhile.  

I started the estrogen patches today.  I've noticed that between 2 time a day lovenox, 1 time a day pio and a patch i need to wear, I dont have much spare space.  My belly is still bruised from the Lovenox before retrieval, so I've been trying to avoid those spots.  I did notice little drops of blood on the bedsheets.  Turns out that my old injection site from last night was still oozing.  Weird!  I'm sure that's normal though.  I go in for a thyroid and progesterone check tomorrow, so I will also ask how far the embryos made it before freezing.  I'm still so excited, and really starting to think about what happens if this works! 

Embryo transfer #3

Yesterday was our embryo transfer.  That makes another 5dt for us!  I was so excited!  I'm fairly certain that we were the first transfer of the day.  My instructions went like this: hold 6am dose of crinone.  Eat a light breakfast.  Empty bladder at 6:30, then take valium and hit the road.  Arrive by 7am at clinic and start drinking water.  Transfer at 7:30.  Well, my nursing bladder didn't go along with that plan.  I had to drink more water.  As I was doing so, the embryologist herself came out to talk to us.  Usually it's just the RE.  She told us that of our original 9 embryos, 6 were still going strong.  2 of them were fully expanded blasts (which were what we chose to transfer), and 4 were early blasts.  She said she'd watch them another day and if they still looked good, and had caught up to the others, she could freeze them.  I almost cried.
   It was finally time to go back to the transfer.  We changed into our booties and gowns and in we went.  I like that they keep the room dim.  I think the embryos like it too, but for me it's more relaxing.  I got my legs strapped into the giant stirrups and waited.  When the RE came in, he made a comment about how he thinks we found the right drug cocktail for us.  At first I thought he meant because I was so happy (partially from the valium), but later I realized he must have meant the protocol we used for stimming.  I think he's right.  The change in protocol helped.  Along with everything else we did differently. 
  Next came all the prep. get the ultrasound ready, squash the bladder, insert speculum and clean.  check!  I did have some minor cramping, but I think it was because of the speculum.  It stopped before he actually did the transfer.  The whole thing took less than 20 minutes.  By far the least uncomfortable transfer we've had.  I got to use the bedpan, then hang out lying there for about 20 minutes or so.  We got the ceremonious "first baby(ies) photo.  I'm scheduled for beta on 8/2.  Thankfully I am off that day.  The past 2 cycles, I've had to work.  Everything is different this time! 
   DH and I spent the rest of the day together.  We went to see Despicable Me 2 (babies first movie) and to pick up his coronet.  By then, I was ready to hit the couch and was having some cramping.  I spent the rest of the night taking it easy.  DH even made a yummy dinner of stuffed peppers.  I restarted Lovenox injections as well and now will be doing them 2 times a day.  Fun!!  PIO hasn't gone too badly, and I have started letting DH do them.  He's done so well, even when yesterday's stung pretty bad.  I'm so proud of him. 

How I spent my Tuesday

That, folks, is my IVIg infusion.

 

I started my day with my final acupuncture session before our transfer, then headed over to Dr. Kwak-Kim's office for my first IVIg infusion.  Needless to say, there was some downtime between appointments, so I was able to have some lunch and check in at work to give them the schedule I wanted to sign up for.  They finally took me back, along with 2 other women.  I was the only one not yet pregnant, so that was reassuring.  We each got an infusion room, which was about the size of an exam room, but had a huge overstuffed recliner and an IV pole.  The nurse came in with tylenol and benedryl for all of us.  It's standard protocol to premedicate to help ward off allergic reactions.  You should have seen all the consents I had to sign before hand too.  Honestly that made me a little nervous.

  The nurse came back in, took a set of vitals, and started my IV.  It hurt, but possibly because she used the same vein we did for my retrieval.  She got to work setting up the infusion and soon we were on our way.   I think we started running it at 1:30, and I was done around 4.  I got to just sit and hang out.  I read and played candy crush the whole time.  Not too bad.  Occasionally it would burn a little, but not at all as bad as I thought.  When I was done, they took out my IV, and advised me to drink as much as possible to ward off feeling bad later and to take tylenol and benedryl if I needed to.  I may have gotten a little bit of a headache over the next couple days, but took tylenol as soon as I thought one was starting.  Hopefully the infusion helped to quiet down those NK cells and cytokines.  

  Here's some more information on NK cells and IVIg use.  http://haveababy.com/fertility-information/ivf-authority/ivig-intralipid-therapy-in-ivf-natural-killer-cell-activity-for-diagnosis-and-treatment/

Fert report and weekend update

   No, Tina Fey is not writing this entry, though I'm sure if she did, it'd be much more comical.  It's been an eventful past few days. Saturday I woke up not feeling too bad, which always surprises me after a retrieval.  I procrastinated around the house, waiting for the RE to call with our fert report.  Finally I had to get in the shower or I'd be late for acupuncture.  Wouldn't you know it, as soon as I got my hair wet, the RE was calling.  I dashed to the phone, but it went to voicemail before I could get it.  I tried to call back but the RE must have been the only on in the office.  His voicemail said hed call back, so I got back in the shower.  well, wouldn't you know, it happened again.  Only this time I only heard the voicemail ring.  Apparently, the RE didn't want to play phone tag with me anymore and left the fert report on my voicemail.  I might just save the message forever. 

   So, here is our fert report.  We retrieved 14 eggs and did ICSI split on them (where they do ICSI on half, and natural fertilization on half).  Of our 7 eggs we ICSI'ed, 6 were mature and 5 fertilized.  Of our 7 natural fertilization, 5 were mature, and 4 fertilized.  In total, we have 9 embryos and are planning for a 5dt on Weds!  I am so elated.  our fertilization rate is 81%!!!   With IVF#2, it was only 66% and 71% with IVF#1.  I can't help but be excited! 

   After that, I ran to acupuncture and to old navy to attempt to find something to wear for a get together I was going to that night.  Thanks to my bloat, nothing really looked right.  I found a top that was a little forgiving in the belly, so that worked out.  I'll tell you though, I thought I was feeling good, but that trip kinda wore me out.  I came home, had some lunch and took it easy till it was time to get ready to go out.  I met up with my IFBFF who drove us downtown to meet up with some fellow IF ladies from a facebook group we're a part of.  As soon as we got to the restaurant, we needed to duck into the bathroom because this wonderful friend of mine was going to do my first PIO injection.  Let me paint the scene for you.

   We're in the handicap stall of a pizza place, tons of other ladies in the bathroom.  All they can hear is my friend telling me to "drop trou" and to bend over and grab the bar.  I keep repeating that I feel like I'm gonna throw up.  She does the shot and I don't even feel it(till the next morning at least)!  She is a true friend. 
   The evening was tons of fun.  I met lots of new people and it was nice to be able to be myself, crazy IF brain and all.  I had been on the fence about going since I had my retrieval the day before, but I'm really glad I went.  I think I needed that.  Plus those women know what we're going through and care about how things are going for us.  It's so nice to have that kind of support, and from relative strangers no less.

  Sunday, we slept in and DH made me eggs for breakfast.  I've been trying really hard to up my protein to help with all this bloating.  The 2 days of eating carbs didn't help, so when my weight was up 7 lbs from pre retrieval, I was a little concerned but wanted to factor diet in too.  Plus the papers from the RE say 5 lb gain in a day, and mine was 3 lbs one day 4 lbs the next.  So I alternated water and protein powder with almond milk all day.  We ran to Menards and the grocery store.  It was nice to get out of the house and spend some time together.  By the end of grocery shopping, I was wiped out, and hanging on the cart due to discomfort.  I was also pretty irritable, which I'd like to blame on the progesterone.  We came home, put everything away and I headed for the couch.

  MY IFBFF was planning to come over to show DH how to do my PIO shot around 6, so I text her and instead of coming over, we decided to double date and go to dinner.  Our DHs hadn't met yet, so I was excited.  We went to their house first for the shot, so DH didn't have to try to bust into the ladies bathroom at the restaurant.  She walked him through step by step, and again, no pain.  I really think I should just keep her on retainer for these shots.  We went to dinner and hung out with them a little afterwards and really had a great time.  On the way home, DH was asking about the shots.  It's very clear he's nervous.  I keep stressing it's like throwing a dart and once he's through the skin, not to stop.  He said he'd watch some you tube videos.  It's hard for him not being into medical stuff at all, and even harder for me to let go of control.  Who knows, maybe our relationship needed this test, like a team building exercise.  ha ha.

   Today, I am waiting to hear what time we go on Weds. from the RE and to hear from the RI about the IVIg I'm supposed to have done tomorrow.  The nurse on Friday said there might be an issue getting it from the pharmacy.  I'm trying not to worry about that, but I'll be seriously pissed if I drive up there tomorrow and it's not there.  Plus I had to rearrange my acupuncture to make it work out.  I sent a message to the nurse practitioner through the portal, so hopefully I'll hear something today.  

  Overall, I feel good.  I've noticed that since starting the PIO that I've had some more negative ideas pop in my head, but I think that's from the PIO.  I'm walking a thin line between being excited and optimistic and afraid to get too excited because I know it can still not work.  I can't wait to hear how our embryos are doing!

Fortunes

I have been so good on my low carb diet that I asked dh for Chinese for dinner.  These were our fortunes.  Yes they are the same and yes I think its a sign!  Someone do a happy dance w me!