So, I've been cruising along on my estrogen patches & endometrin supplements when all of a sudden Friday night I started spotting. I was like WTF? I thought I was either out or it was implantation bleeding. I decided to keep an eye on it & by the time I was due for another dose of endometrin, it was gone, leading me to believe it was from implantation. I should probably add that I never spot when Im on progesterone. Well, this lovely little rollercoaster continued until Monday when I called the RE and they said it could either be my period starting or irritation from the meds. Little did I know I was inserting the endometrin in too far, so the bleeding was probably my cervix. Whoops. So I felt a little better when the spotting stopped, but all my internet cheapy tests have been negative. I am presently 11dp3dt so some pregnancy hormone (hcg) should be present. Nope. negative. I go in for my beta tomorrow and I am just dreading it. What makes matters worse is that tomorrow is also my first day back to work since the retrieval. I am just dreading facing everyone. Some of my coworkers knew what I was doing, so I really just don't want the questions.
I just feel so incredibly overwhelmed with saddness and I havent even gotten the official yet. I know that if it's negative, I'll do it again. It's just hard to think about doing it all over again. A friend of mine text me last night to tell me that she thinks Im an incredibly strong person for what Im going through. I have no idea how she sees that. All I feel is scared, sad, and broken. I feel like there has to be something wrong with me that we have taken out every other factor and still aren't pregnant. I feel like Im letting my husband down (which I know is silly, and he'd love me even without kids). I just thought this was it. I know Im not officially out until the lab results, but it's so hard to be optimistic right now.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
No frosties...
I forgot to add in my last post that none of the remaining 2 embies made it to freeze. So it looks like we'll be looking at another fresh cycle if this one doesn't work or if we want more children. I was heartbroken when I got the news. I worry that I won't have the strength to do another cycle. Especially after how hard it was getting to do the shots towards the end. I know I'll do it if I have to, but some days its a lot harder to be stronger than others. I hope these embies take!
Retrieved, transferred, PUPO
It's been awhile
I've been neglecting my poor blog. I hope it forgives me. Stimming kinda took a lot out of me. I ended up stimming for 11 days with 75 IU of menopur and 175 IU of follistim, then added ganerelix for the last 5 days. I'll tell ya, I'm pretty proud of myself, even if it sometimes took me an hour to do a shot towards the end. I triggered on Sunday night 9/9 and went in for our retrieval on 9/11. These were all of the shots I ended up doing, and a photo of the final shot. 28 shots in 11 days. YIKES!!
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